Andrew and I have been searching for a church home since we got married. As Andrew and I began dating he resigned as the youth director of the church he was serving so he joined my family at my home church. He would drive down from Bel Air Sunday mornings and then he would spend the entire day with my family and me. So when we got married and I moved to Bel Air we did not have a home church in our community and we realized that it was not possible to continue to commute to Calvert County every Sunday for church. It would also be really hard to serve at a church that is an hour and a half away and Andrew and I have talked about serving in a church together since the very beginning of our relationship.
Needless to say over the last year our search for a church home has been very difficult, partly because we grew up in two different faith traditions and finding the happy medium was difficult. We had also visited many different places but weren't feeling that any were a great fit for us and our gifts. We have been part of an amazing small group though through a local church that is a great positive support and community for us during this time of transition. After finding out that we were expecting we both felt very pressured to find a church home were we could begin to raise our family. In October our small group and the affiliated church began a series called "Greater" by Steven Furtick at Elevation Church. As we began this study Andrew and I prayed that the Lord would really make it clear to us where he wanted us to go for a home church; at the time we felt like there were 3 options. 1- Fully get involved at the church affiliated with our small group and make that our home. 2- Begin working with LINC Baltimore on a unique church planting model called Missional Communities. 3- Find another established church.
The first week of the Greater study on our way to church Andrew and I were talking and he said he felt like the Lord was telling him that He has given us a child so quickly (much quicker than Andrew was expecting) because it was going to put us in the position to meet many new people and it would be a great mission field. As he said this I knew he was then leaning towards working with LINC to begin a Missional Community. I on the other hand was not really feeling that way and my initial reaction was we are going to be interacting with a lot of new people until the baby is a toddler so that would be 2 or 3 years down the road.
That day in church the pastor began preaching on the Greater study and it starts with the story of Elijah and Elisha and how Elijah was a prophet of the Lord and he went to go get Elisha to begin training him up in the way of the Lord. When Elijah got to Elisha at first Elisha was not sure about leaving and then the Lord had quickly changed his mind and directed his path so Elisha decided to slaughter his cattle and burn his plows because he was not going to need those things any more. He was no longer going to be a farmer he was going to leave with Elijah answering the Lord's call to go share God's word. The pastor challenged us to burn our plows and take a step of faith to do what God was calling us too. He then proceeded to give a list of examples of ways that we could burn our plows; and he gave many standard ideas like building a faith focus in your home, or leaving/starting a job that the Lord wants ... but then part way through his list he says "Maybe the Lord is calling you to begin a new ministry and serve your community." Andrew was then very convicted that we were being called to begin this new ministry with LINC.
That afternoon as we discussed things I was not sure that I was on the same page and I told Andrew that I had 3 reservations about Missional Communities. 1- I am an introvert, although I can lead and take charge with the best of them I get drained from people and it takes me a very long time to develop relationships with people. Once I know you I can be very outgoing but at first I am very reserved. The Missional Communities is all about building meaningful relationships with people and I did not feel that it was one of my strengths. 2- This is a Lutheran church plant and I did not grow up in a Lutheran church. Although all of the main doctrine is the same there are two big theological differences and so I might not necessarily answer any questions people would ask the way that a Lutheran would. 3- I was not sure about leaving the traditional church setting because that setting was so influential on me growing up.
Over the next week we continued to pray that the Lord would lead us where he wanted. Through that week Andrew felt more and more called to go plant a Missional Community through LINC and I was holding tight to my 3 reservations. That Friday as I walked into a professional development training with a co-worker she got stopped by someone to chat. I kept going and when she caught up to me she said, "You are going to meet so many people and know people everywhere you go once you have kids. That lady's daughter is in dance with my daughter." As the words came out of her mouth I cringed and though to myself, "No Lord, I am not going to meet people until the baby is much older and I don't think I can do this." Her words kept replaying in my mind through out that entire weekend.
Then, Sunday at church for week 2 of the Greater study the pastor continued to talk about Elisha who was now a prophet himself and there were 3 kings were headed into battle but their armies had gotten lost in the wilderness and were thirsty and near death. They called on Elisha to get help from the Lord. In the end the Lord tells Elisha that the armies will have to dig ditches in the bottom of this valley in order to catch the rain water to help them survive. The pastor then challenged us to dig our own ditches. He challenged us to obey where the Lord was leading us to and burn our plow and dig our ditch in order to serve him. Through this entire message I really felt the Lord leading me to let go of my reservations, trust in Him, and follow in his path. He made it very clear that the statement my co-worker made was because it was the truth and there would be many new people coming into our lives. Although introverted, I am a leader and have lead many of things in the past. He also challenged me by reminding me that I do know how to build relationships with people in order to share the gospel (that was my mission when I went to Kazakhstan). Also, Andrew and I have different gifts for a reason and he is very much an extrovert so he can bring people to us. Which meant I needed to dig the ditches and trust that the Lord would supply people. Finally, this Missional Community model would not be a house church model forever so traditional church could be something that it turns into down the road. Which meant I needed to burn the plow of traditional church and trust that the Lord will take care of us. I was very convicted during this message and really felt led to go and serve on the Missional Community team with LINC.
During this same time frame Andrew was praying for the Lord to align our calls. He said he really felt like the Lord was directing him toward Missional Communities but he did not know it if was his own will or the Lord's will. So he prayed that the Lord would burden his and my heart with the same call. That way we would clearly know it was where He wanted us to go. Five minutes after he prayed this prayer I had fully processed the Lord's call and turned to him during praise and worship time and said, "I think the Lord wants us to serves as missionary's in our community and work with LINC to develop a Missional Community."
After church Andrew and I shared our inner thoughts that were happening during service and realized how amazing our God is. He was working on both of us in our own ways and we rejoiced in how prompt the Lord was in answering Andrew's prayer! We had been looking for direction for a long time and we are very excited to now know what path the Lord wants us on and see how the Lord's plan will unfold moving forward. Please pray for us as we begin leader's training tonight.
Erin is in grad class and I have hijacked her blog to share some things with you. I could not be more blessed. I have a beautiful wife who is glowing more and more each day as we are getting closer to Baby K's arrival. Our family is experiencing God's love in real time as have become parents. I am privileged to have a sideline view of God's work as He forms Baby K and I am loving it.
For the longest time Erin has wanted to be a mom and now that she is she couldn't be happier. This has been a crazy cool experience for me also. Even though I am not carrying our child, I am becoming very attached to him/her emotionally. We have had two sonograms now and the differences in such a short time are incredible. Our child's growth from week 9 to week 20 is amazing. Now we could see bones and each chamber of the heart among other things. I saw our child moving on the monitor during both sonograms and was anticipating the opportunity to feel him/her kick.
Recently Erin began to feel movements and would describe them to me. She was excited for me to feel kicks once they were significant enough. About a week ago our child gave me a high five! I was super excited in that moment. Erin told me that it was probably a foot or something but I like to think it was a hand.
Erin is now half way along in the pregnancy. I can't imagine what God has in store for us in the second half. I am becoming more excited than a kid on Christmas morning for the moment when I get to hold our child for the first time.
Posted by Andrew Kassouf
Snow Day with Christmas decorations! These two snow days could not of come at a better time! I have been swamped with my graduate work so our house has been behind in the decorating for Christmas. We got to spend some time decorating and getting into the festive spirit.
Welcome to the Kassouf House at Christmas time!
We got to spend quite a bit of time with family over our Thanksgiving break. It was so nice to visit and just enjoy each others company. This year we are very thankful for our little peanut! We are super excited to see what the next year holds! We are praying for a happy healthy baby!
This was our Thanksgiving picture on the Chesapeake Bay at my grandparents house.
Thanksgiving Dinner for the Barrett family always includes a rock fish that grandpa caught. It is then stuffed with crab meat that my grandparents hand picked through out the summer and freeze for this occasion.
Kassouf cousins made Christmas Cookies!
My Dad came with his truck on the week before Thanksgiving so we could begin to organize our basement. We have a fully finished basement but only part of it was really livable. The other part had become a "catch all" place for all the things Andrew and I no longer wanted or weren't sure what to do with. So two Saturday's ago my Dad came and we cleaned out. We took an entire load to the Lutheran Mission Society and another load to the dump. This was Phase I of Nursery Creation because currently the nursery is our office which will move to the basement. The basement clean out is Phase I of our Extreme Home Makeover- Baby Kassouf Edition.
Pictures to come once more is done.
Andrew's favorite place in the world is NYC. The weekend of October 18th Andrew and I went for our annual fall trip, so technically this was Peanut's (my mom's nickname for Baby Kassouf) first trip to NYC. We spent the weekend seeing Broadway shows, eating at some of our favorite places, and relaxing. We stayed in New Jersey at the Marriott at Glenpoint. It was a very nice hotel and we got an upgraded room because the hotel was having phone issues and every time we called the phone would just ring.
Friday night we went into the city and saw Big Fish, this show was about a father who wants his son to always dream big. It is based on a movie that Andrew likes and he was very curios to see how they would adapt it for the stage. I was expecting to like this show least out of the entire weekend but it turned out it was one of the best shows of the weekend! Now that Andrew and I are expecting Peanut, we watched this show through different eyes. It was cool to have this new perspective. After the show we stayed to "stage door" and we met Norbert Leo Butz and Kate Baldwin. They were both very nice and willing to sign autographs.
Saturday we slept in and had a lazy morning. Then we went into the city to grab lunch, that afternoon we saw the matinee show of Matilda the Musical. I was super excited to see this show because it was one of my favorite movies as a child. I use to watch it every time I visited my Mommom and Poppy. This show was also very good. I loved the music and it was so cool to watch a cast of mostly kids dance and sing on the Broadway stage. It was neat to see all the different magic tricks from the movie being done on stage.
After the show we walked over to Bryant Park to hang out for a while and spend some time in the quiet part of the city. I love going to the different parks in the city because once your in the park it's so quite and calm. But as soon as you walk to the edge of the park it's complete city life again; it's like a mini oasis.
Saturday night for dinner we walked over to Cafe Jolie, it is a small crepe restaurant that we found a year ago. We love eating there because we can get savory crepe's for dinner and a sweet crepe to split for desert. It's one of my favorite places the city. After dinner we went to see First Date. This show was about a couple on a blind date and since Andrew and I met on a blind date we figured this was a must see for our relationship. The show stared Zachary Levi and Krysta Rodriguez. Zachary Levi was the voice of Flynn Rider in Disney's Tangled which was the first movie Andrew and I saw together and one of the lines from that movie is our relationship motto. Krysta Rodriguez was in Smash which was one of Andrew's favorite shows. This musical was absolutely hilarious! And the blind date story mirrored our story so much it was almost scary! After the show we "stage doored" again because we really wanted to meet Zachary and Krysta. They both were so nice and personable; they loved hearing that we had met on a blind date, are now married, and expecting our first child. Zachary even brought out speakers and an iPod to play music while he signed and after signing everyone's playbills he stayed and took pictures with anyone who wanted pictures. He was there for well over an hour. Andrew has been "stage dooring" for years and Zachary was by far the nicest most laid back person he has ever met.
Sunday we got up, packed and then went into the city. We ate lunch in Rockefeller Center, a place I love to go and visit. I don't know why I like it so much but I just think its a really cool place.
Then we went and saw Annie. This was a good show but it was our least favorite of the weekend, only because it was very much like the movie and was very predictable. It was still enjoyable and we are glad we saw it before it closes in January. (The theater was also freezing! which made it much less enjoyable for me).
On our way back to the bus to get to our car we stopped at the Cake Boss Cafe, we had walked past it everyday on our way to a from the bus and never went in, but we had a few minutes and since I love Rachel Ray who works with the Cake Boss frequently we thought it would be a good idea to try it out! We got 2 cupcakes (peanut butter chocolate for Peanut and I and carrot cake for Andrew) they were very good!
It was a great weekend away from home and I'm sure Andrew is counting down until we get to go again. I also think he is super stoked to take Peanut when he/she is old enough because he always wants to make everyone lovers of NYC!
Announcing our good news to the world. This went on Facebook when I was 12 weeks. Andrew choose this Bible verse as our memory verse for the month so it has been posted all over our house. Our faith is the foundation of our relationship and I jumped at the opportunity to share that with the world. We thought it would be cool to announce our news using a gift box because our child is a gift. We also switched off on the gender colors to be fun and show that we are excited for either a boy or a girl!
On September 27, 2013, we got to see the first movements of our son/daughter. It was crazy getting to see our child move and wiggle all over! It all became very real in this moment.
Andrew's Dad came into town on a planned trip the day after we found out we were expecting and Andrew could not wait to tell him. I was a little worried because I knew Andrew's Mom would not be with Dad and I thought she might get upset about not finding out in person but we were not going to be in Myrtle Beach until Christmas and we couldn't wait until then! So Andrew came up with a great idea, he would Skype call his mom and that way we could still see her even though she could not be with us. Andrew told his mom some story about wanting to buy a tablet so he wanted to try out Skype to see which tablet he was going to buy. So Mom got on Skype when Dad got here at 11 p.m. and we gave Dad an envelope and small gift. Dad offered for Mom to open it but she said he could do it. The card said, "Here is something your house will need for our visit next summer." and then he opened the gift which was a small pack of outlet covers. He showed them to mom and said, "They're outlet covers, something you would need for children." Then, he looked at Andrew and I and asked, "Are you trying to tell us something?" We responded, "Yes!" He got up to hug us and Mom was screaming over Skype in excitement while also saying "This is not fair, I can't hug anyone!" They were both very excited and began praying immediately!
My Mom was the next person we talked too. We were going out of town that weekend so we had to see her before we left so we set up a weeknight dinner in Annapolis. She joined us for dinner at Chevy's. When she got there we gave her a card and the small wrapped gift. Her card read, "Here is something your house will need next spring." As soon as she read it she looked at me and said "Is this something for a baby?" She knew right away without even opening the gift. I said, "Yes" and we all hugged and then she went back and opened her gift. Some might say mother's intuition but she had a few clues to help her figure out our big news. First, we had seen her the week before I took the pregnancy test for a concert and she offered me a glass of my favorite wine which I declined because I was 3 days late. Which could of meant anything at that point but I was being cautious. Then a week later we asked her to dinner in the middle of the week, so she was slightly suspicious and right!
Next was my Dad and step mom. We had dinner with them the night we got back from our weekend trip. They met us for dinner at P.F. Chang's. We were a few minutes late and Dad and Molly were enjoying drinks so when we got there and moved to a table I handed Dad his card which said, "This is something your house will need next spring." As soon as he read the card Molly just looked across the table at us and then back at Dad. He then opened the outlet covers and Molly started freaking out. Dad was still looking at the outlet covers in a confused way when Molly finally said, "Are you pregnant?" and my Dad stopped, looked up at me waiting for a response and when I said "Yes" they were like, "Really? Oh my goodness!" They were excited, gave out hugs, and they all celebrated with sparkling wine! I drank ginger-ale from a champagne flute!
It was fun getting to tell Grandpa, Grandma, Nanna, Poppy, and Naoni. I would say most of them were very thrown off by our news because I don't think they were expecting it quite yet. But they were all very very excited!!
October 31, 2013
I found out that I was pregnant on August 24, 2013. At that point I was over a week and a half late and I could not wait anymore. I went out Friday night and bought a pregnancy test, but the directions said you should take it first thing in the morning because the pregnancy hormone is more potent then. Andrew had to be at school Saturday morning to get his classroom set up, so when I got up I took the test right away. The directions said it might take up to 2 minutes to get results, yea not in my case- it changed almost instantaneously. I had been brainstorming about how to tell Andrew this news but I had not made a decision but now I only had 2 hours to get it all figured out.
I decided to take the notebook that I had given him for our anniversary to write a note. The notebook was suppose to be a place for me to write him notes because his love language is words and I am not very good at that. So for our anniversary I wrote a note in this notebook and told him that I would keep writing him notes through out the year since I knew that words was his love language. I pulled out his notebook and I made a "picture" that said YOU + ME = 3 (because he's a math teacher- I know nerdy).
Then on the next page I wrote:
The dog was suppose to be a joke because I would always tease Andrew about getting a dog when we have kids.
I put all this in his notebook and left in on the coffee table next to his spot on the couch. Knowing that when he came home he would see it, read it and then he would know!
He got home a little bit later and told me we were going on a surprise trip in 45 minutes and I was like okay and thought to myself good he will read his note we can celebrate and talk and then go on our "trip". So he sat down on the sofa and I waited for him to see his notebook and read it. He saw the notebook but ignored it because he thought it was a beginning of school note and he felt bad because he had not gotten me anything so he pretended not to see it and he put his computer on top of it and began doing school work. I was freaking out!!! So just before leaving for our surprise trip I stopped him and said you have to read your notebook, NOW! He was like, "oh okay"; he opened the notebook read page one and he just looked at me. Then he looked at the second page and got a very confused look. He knew that I was "late" but when he read the "or 4" and the "jk" at the bottom of the page he did not know what to think. I clarified and said the first page is true you and me = 3 and the second page is a joke, kinda. He said "Really, did you take a test?" I said "yes there will be a baby sometime in the spring." He was excited, nervous, and a little shocked all at the same time.
We then went on our great surprise trip to Tea by Two, a local tea room. It was suppose to be a relaxing trip before school started, but instead it turned out to be a celebration of our newest addition!
October 30, 2013
Today, I am 15 weeks into our new journey. Andrew and I could not be more excited! This new journey really began at Andrew's 31st birthday dinner when I started talking about adding to our family. I think I caught him slightly off guard because he was thinking we would wait another year or two before beginning that conversation. He thought about it for a few weeks and come back to me and said something along the lines of "How about we stop preventing from getting pregnant but lets not be crazy in trying. Lets just let God be God and let him be in control." I was okay with that, although I like to be in control I knew God was ultimately in control so we began to pray that God would give us a child in his timing. When Andrew made his compromise with me he thought that God's plan would align very closely with his plan, because both our parents had some difficulties getting pregnant the first time around. Well, God's plan was much closer to my plan because 2 months later I got to tell Andrew that our family would be growing!